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About Me

When did you screw everything up, but no one ever found out it was you?

Hmm, we are already off to an incriminating start. Pass.

What would you name your boat if you had one?

It would have to be something witty like You Don’t Sea Me … you know, silly and dumb but still witty.

What will finally break the internet?

A missing semi-colon.

What celebrity would you rate as a perfect 10?

Depends, is this a 1-10 scale or a 1-100 scale. XD

Which fictional character would be the most boring to meet in real life?

Who comes up with these questions?

What is the best and worst purchases you’ve ever made?

Too hard. Pass.

If you had to change your name, what would your new name be, and why would you choose that name?

If I had to change my name it would be for something like Witsec. So maybe I shouldn’t answer this in such a public forum. XD

What are some things that sound like compliments but are actually insults?

Anything that starts or ends with “bless your heart.”

What’s a body part that you wouldn’t mind losing?

I’d like to keep them all, thank you very much.

What’s your biggest screw up in the kitchen?

I set the kitchen on fire by boiling water when I was 14 or 15. I didn’t cook again until I was in my 20s.

What’s the worst commercial you’ve recently seen? Why is it so bad?

I absolutely hate the Sprint commercials with Paul. Traitor.

What’s the closest thing to real magic?

Diagon Alley at Universal Studios

What is the craziest thing one of your teachers has done?

My high school Chemistry teacher blew everything up. That was so much fun.

Who is the messiest person you know?

My son.

What problem or situation did TV / movies make you think would be common, but when you grew up you found out it wasn’t?

Quicksand. I was sure that I was going to be dealing with that on a regular basis.

What quote or saying do people spout but is complete BS?

“I’m sorry.” Because, I mean, really…are you truly sorry or are you just sorry you got caught. You know its the latter.

What’s something your brain tries to make you do and you have to will yourself not to do it?

When my blood level drops, I crave ice. I mean, seriously…CRAVE…like its a drug. I have to fight myself from giving in. But I use that as my baseline to alert my doctor that its time for another transfusion.

What is the dumbest way you’ve been injured?

Not sure I can pick just one. Actually, I can. I broke my tailbone earlier this year. I fell down the stairs like a total goofus. I didn’t know if I should laugh or cry, so I did both. I definitely didn’t think I broke my butt…but a few days later I was still in agonizing pain so I got checked out. And there it was…a big old crack in my crack. HA. HA. HA.

If you could know the absolute and total truth to one question, what question would you ask?

This isn’t fair. I want the absolute and total truth to everything. All the things.

What’s the most interesting thing you’ve read or seen this week?

I’m oddly intrigued by the “What the Fluff” challenge videos.

What ridiculous thing has someone tricked you into doing or believing?

My mom told me that the little white foamy bubbles at the river shore was fish spit. Yeah, I believed her. I was skeptical at first but she stuck it out. Finally she laughed and told me I was so gullible. True story. I was about 13.

If you were given a one-minute ad slot during the Super Bowl that you couldn’t sell, what would you fill it with?

My puppy. I mean, really…have you seen her?! Everyone needs a one-minute puppy break.

What’s the most useless talent you have?

I can use my feet like hands. You may think its useless now but who will be laughing if I lose my hands?! Ha! Yeah, I’m a dork.

What would be on the gag reel of your life?

I’m a total goofus. That reel would be packed full of hilarious moments.

Where is the worst smelling place you’ve been?

Times Square in NYC. It smells like a mix of urine, body odor, sewage, trash and weed. *barf*